Johnston

johnstonmiller @ 2005-01-04T13:57:00

2005-01-04T20:18:49Z

My first term of graduate school went pretty darn well. I did well in the only course I took, had fun teaching first year students aerobic respiration and photosynthesis among other things, and figured out what I'm doing for my thesis. The scariest part was my Philosophical, which consists of presenting your proposed research to everyone in the department (faculty and students) and having them give feedback (it's basically an interrogation). We'd been doing them all term, and some other people had pretty rough rides, but I made sure I was prepared and it went rather well.

After a whirlwind two weeks that saw me hand in two papers, write one exam and give one presentation all for one course (and one oral exam to come tomorrow), I headed home for Christmas. It had some really boring stretches since everyone I knew from Ottawa came home a week after I arrived and two days before I had to leave, but I got to see almost everyone that mattered and I read the fifth Harry Potter.

On Boxing Day my mom, Simon and I headed to Clinton, Ontario for Christmas with my mom's family. All 36 of us were quite comfortable in the massive Victorian home that my Uncle Gene is turning into a Bed & Breakfast. The whole Christmas dinner thing is really just a front for the main event. Erin was warmly received by everyone, and then reviled after the two of us trounced my uncles and cousins in Euchre. I think that beating my Uncle Rick and Reg in cards might be my favourite thing in the world.

I then made my way to Grand Bend for New Year's and Erin's birthday. I got Erin a dishwasher. Call it an unromantic gift if you will, but she said it was the best present she could have imagined (it was a surprise of course). For the first time, I can say I had a good New Year's Eve.

And now I'm sitting at my desk, getting ready for one more term in London before heading out to Kananaskis for the summer. The weirdest thing about my Christmas vacation was that after a few days of relaxing, I was really looking forward to coming back to school. This is the first time that's ever happened to me. I guess that means I'm in the right place.

For any interested parties, I'm going to write a bit about my Master's research. If you don't care about deer mice or stable isotopes, you should skip down a few paragraphs.

To put it all in context, you really have to know what an isotope is, and I promise this will be the most nerdy part. Isotopes are molecules that have the same number of protons, with a different number of neutrons. This causes molecules to have slightly different weights (i.e. Carbon has two common isotopes, Carbon 12 and Carbon 13). Generally, one isotope is much more common than the other (Carbon 12 is like 99.9% of the world's carbon, with Carbon 13 being the other 0.1%). When molecules containing these different isotopes go through certain processes (like Carbon fixation by plants), one isotope might be preferred over the other (plants prefer to fix the lighter Carbon 12 molecule) so the relative proportions change ever so slightly. We're talking really small (0.003% change), but these differences can be measured with a ridiculously expensive machine called a mass spectrometre. So, in biology, we can use stable isotopes to tell us something about certain processes where isotopes get fractionated.

In animals, you can use stable isotopes to get information about diet. Specifically, an animal's body tissue Carbon isotope values are close to those of their food source, so you can get an idea about what an animal has been eating. Animals preferentially incorporate Nitrogen 15 (as opposed to Nitrogen 14) in their tissue, so animals will be enriched in Nitrogen 15 compared to their food source. This allows us to piece together trophic relationships (e.g. Wolf eats Deer eats Plants eats Sun) in more complicated food webs.

While a female is lactating her offspring are "feeding" on their mother. The little tykes should be a trophic level higher than their mom, as evidenced through the Nitrogen 15 values, while the Carbon 13 values should be about the same as their mother's.

Long story short, I'm measuring the Nitrogen and Carbon isotope values of moms and kids over lactation to see how they change and hopefully explain any aberrations from my hypothesis. This means I'll be spending all of next summer running around mountains catching mice, bringing them into the lab to give birth, and killing each and every one of them, some of them on the day they are born. If Douglas Adams had it right, and mice really are smarter than us and from another dimension, I expect to have a rough afterlife.

So that's it. That's how I'm spending two years of my life. Call me crazy, but I like it.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-09-16T12:48:00

2004-09-16T16:57:21Z

I'm pretty much settled in at Western after a summer of running around in the mountains. The last chunk of the summer was as awesome as everything prior to it. Saw lots of cool shit (mountain sheep, coyotes, snow capped mountains); did lots of cool shit (mountain climbing, cliff jumping, walking stick carving); and met a bunch more cool people. At the end, Jack (my supervisor) had a field course out there, and all the researchers got to do all the fun field course things (hikes with an old guy who knows everything about everything) without the unfun things (remembering everything about everything for the lab exam). Erin flew in toward the end and got to see what I did everyday, help me clean mouse traps and then drive back with me. I felt alright about leaving, knowing that I'd be back next year, but it'll be interesting to see how I squeeze in all the things I want to do with my research. It should be even better with a summer to orient myself under my belt.

The move to London was relatively stress-free. Both of our collections of stuff were already in the city, and we had an army of Erin's friends and relatives to help us. We're almost completely set-up, and I can say unabashedly that our apartment fucking rules. We've got a tonne of space and a bunch of furniture to fill it up with. I even have my own office/cubicle at school.

I must say, this school is very different than U of T (duh), much more of a college-town feel. I'm no longer one white blip in a sea of diversity; I'm back in the majority like good ol' Manotick. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't such a homogeneous Gap shopping crowd, but at least my peers in grad school have more personality and variation. Graduate school is weird. It's almost like going back to high school. Smaller classes with people you know and recognize. Crazy.

I think I'll go to Toronto this weekend. The adjustment from wild to concrete jungle hasn't been too difficult, but it'll be weird going back the city I called home for the last 4 years. After a summer of isolation, I really ought to spend time with some important peeps.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-07-25T17:40:00

2004-07-25T23:40:36Z

Events have finally slowed down enough in my life to write about them.

My time in Toronto went rather well, though I was busy with school. For the first time in my university career, I read all the books for my English courses. 4445 pages in six weeks. That’s right, I counted. I didn’t think I was stressing too much until I was outside of it. Erin laughed when I admitted this; I guess she saw it all along. I got to see Erin more often than I thought I would during this month and a half. She’s been skipping around the province chasing bats. The highlight of this stay was definitely seeing Do Make Say Think two nights in a row. The second show was absolutely perfect.

After writing my last exam, I loaded my stuff in to my parents’ truck, said goodbye to my apartment and moved it into Erin’s grandparents’ basement. During this little jaunt to London our parents met for the first time. I was a little nervous about it, but everything went smoothly. We had to leave them alone a number of times as we hunted for an apartment in London. We’re both really happy with what we got, and we’re currently haphazardly picking out paint colours.

I’m back in Kananaskis right now, and everything is going swimmingly. Any previous apprehensions have been cleared up. I work alone and I have my own car. My chariot doesn’t have a CD player, but Calgary just got a Q107 station, so I’ve been listening to a tonne of classic rock over the last three weeks. I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 last week. It didn’t raise anything new for me; it just fanned the flames of emotions I already felt: anger at Dubya and sadness for everyone affected by his bullshit. It hit harder seeing it with Dawn, a trailer-mate and fellow mammal researcher, who is American and has a brother in the Army. The Field Station is teeming with researchers, and I’ve been socializing quite a bit. I’ve come a long way baby. Stampede was fun, but the hiking is better. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.

So, I’m pretty darn happy right now, but I can’t help feeling I’m missing something. I guess that’s the thing with going to all these glorious places and meeting new people; no matter where you are, you feel you should be four other places at once. I’m keeping my absolute priorities at the top while neglecting some long-standing bonds. Hopefully I can renew them when I get back to my native province.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-05-20T14:55:00

2004-05-20T19:02:39Z

I left Alberta on Friday in a pretty good mood. I was looking forward to getting back to Toronto, but I was also happy that I'd be coming back to the Rockies in a month and a half. The only disappointing thing is that I won't be there for any of the Flames madness. Being there reminded me of when the Senators were just starting to get good and everybody was happy for them instead of always worrying that they'll screw up. I saw Don Cherry and Ron MacLean in the Calgary airport. Cherry travels in those crazy suits. Good dude.

When I got back to what western Canadians call "Onterrible", I went to another wedding with Erin where I didn't know anyone, but for this one, Erin was the Maid of Honour, and thus was tied up for most of the ceremony and reception. It was a nice wedding, though lacking in much emotion. The rest of the weekend was spent at Erin's cottage and went by far too quickly.

On Monday Erin dropped me off in Toronto on her way to Sandbanks Park where she'll be tracking bats using telemetry all night long. I had planned on vegetating in front of the TV for a while, but instead I went out to fulfill my consumerist obligations. I bought used media in four different forms (CD, book, DVD and video game), this last one being Final Fantasy X, which explains why I have only left the house twice since Monday. Most guys go on drinking binges at strip clubs when their girlfriends are away; I devote myself to a Role Playing Game. I've never said I was very cool.

The final courses of my undergrad seem all right so far. It's always weird going from Science to Humanities mode. They're two completely different mindsets. I find that Science courses, in part, acknowledge that people generally don't pursue the subject outside the classroom, so you're really only applying what you learn in each class. Literature types consider it something that should be a part of your everyday life, so it's like a pop quiz each day, where the professors and students drop names that you should have read by now. If you haven't, you're an uncultured lout. I'm exaggerating of course, but that's how it feels sometimes. As long as I enjoy what I'm reading, I should be okay.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-05-05T12:38:00

2004-05-05T18:39:06Z

Well, I’ve been in Alberta for over a week now, and I can officially say that mountains rule. Before I get into that, I’ll say something about the 4000 km drive made in three days: This country is fucking beautiful. I have not been to the west coast yet, but I can only imagine it’s at about the same level. Everyone talks about the boringness of the Prairies, but I love the idea that you can see for miles and miles, and then as you approach Calgary, see the ominous outline of the Rockies on the horizon. There’s something awfully magical about driving across the country and stopping at every Tim Horton’s you see for a pee break or a donut. Canadian as fuck.

On the research front, things are going great. I’m spending these first three weeks getting trained and having fun, and when I get back, I’ll start thinking about what I want to do for my Master’s, although I’ve already had some ideas from talking with Jack (that’s right, Professor Millar is now Jack to me). The work end of things is great too. On the second day here, I was running around a mountain covered in snow looking for mouse traps, amazed that I was actually getting paid for this. I’m ridiculously out of shape, but hopefully that’ll change by the end of the summer. I imagine my legs will get stronger, but I can’t see there being much work for my 65 year old arms. Oy.

I’m leaving for Toronto in a week and a half, and while I love it here, I’m looking forward to it. That city has been almost my whole life for the last four years, and it’ll be nice to have one final go at it, a farewell note to the city if you will. It’ll also be nice to be within a couple hundred kilometers of Erin again, even if she is running around the province catching bats.

Everything’s going pretty well, except for the fact that I missed the Avail show last night. Motherfucker I need to see that band soon.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-04-18T15:19:00

2004-04-18T19:37:45Z

As a break between the end of classes and the start of exams, Erin and I went to the most cliched place in the world for a couple to go: Niagara Falls. It was damn sweet. We got a package deal which included a room overlooking the Falls, shuttle service, two brunches, and $75 off a meal at their classy restaurant. We went to the Casino and I lost $10 at Blackjack, but I played for about an hour. The whole trip made me feel very 'grown up'.

Some thoughts on Niagara Falls:

-The US got the short end of the stick. They can't even see their falls from their own shore, so they have to build a demi-bridge to look at their inferior natural wonder. Plus, ours have a cool shape.

-I've never been anywhere with such a range of cheesiness and classiness. Clifton Hill is a sensory overload.

-Maybe it's because it's the beginning of the tourist season, but everyone is nice in Niagara Falls.

This mini-vacation was definitely needed. I'd been running on empty for a while. Easter the weekend before wasn't much of a break, because I just finished a big project right before leaving for Ottawa, and then I had a presentation for my Ecuador stuff the day I got back. I bombed that bad boy, but at least I made up for it with a solid paper, the last biology assignment of my undergraduate career.

Anyhow, this time next week I'll be in a car with two strangers, probably driving through Saskatchewan.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-03-22T11:23:00

2004-03-22T17:47:54Z

When I last left you, I was in academic limbo. I have recently learned that everything's going to work out. I'm pretty much assured of getting into Western and being paid $17,000 a year to study rodents in Alberta for my Master's degree. Getting paid to go to school is a sweet deal. I still have to take those courses during the summer, and it looks like I will be missing the Avail show in May, but on the whole, things are looking pretty good.

I don't normally talk about my dreams, but in the past few days, I've had a couple of interesting ones. On Wednesday, I went to bed early because I had a paper due the next day. I didn't want to write it that night, so I planned to wake up at 5am. While I was asleep, I dreamt that I started and completed writing the paper that was due later that day and felt relieved that I no longer had to worry about it. Cue the alarm and me waking up to the realization that I still had to start and finish my paper on reinforcement as a mechanism for speciation. It was like writing the same paper twice. The other dream was much better. On Saturday night, I was Spiderman, complete with building swinging. I saved a Mary Jane-esque Erin from Dr. Octopus, and all was right with the world. It was almost as good as those dreams where you figure out how to fly.

Big Fish is the best movie I've seen in a long time.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-03-08T12:59:00

2004-03-08T18:16:15Z

Well, it would seem that things aren't going to go as smoothly as I thought on the academic end of things. Apparently I need six 300+ level courses to graduate and I only have five. That means I have to stay in Toronto for the first two months of the summer. All is not lost. I've talked to my potential supervisor next year, and while it doesn't exactly help my cause, it isn't going to be the apocalypse I first thought it would be. I'll be able to finish off my English minor (which I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise), and I won't have to be away for four months like I was originally scheduled to be. Regardless, I'm still pretty disappointed and embarrassed that I let that slip by until so late.

The weekend went well. On Friday, Team Ecuador got together for picture trading and then we went out for supper. After that, Erin and I went to a rock show. Good times. On Saturday, we went to the movies and pulled the old "pay for one, stay for two" scam. It was the first time I've done it with a partner. We saw 50 First Dates and Monster. 50 First Dates was good; it was a nice twist on the Groundhog Day idea (though not as good). I found it very odd that I actually liked the concept behind an Adam Sandler movie more than the slap-sticky bits in between (Punch Drunk Love is not an Adam Sandler movie). I don't know if he's slipping, or I'm getting older (probably the latter), but at least it's balancing out in other ways.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-03-03T12:34:00

2004-03-03T18:04:00Z

I had a pretty wonderful birthday. In Avian Biology we played with a bunch of stuffed birds and tried to identify them. I'm getting pretty good at it. I think I might be able to modify my bird watcher status from novice to extremely amateur. On Saturday, the weather threw a wrench in the plans of going skating, so we just hung out chez moi. I got some pretty fantastic presents despite making a point of asking for none. Much pizza and Zhumir was consumed, and at the end of the night, Erin and I ended up sharing the world in Risk (ahhh shucks). A night like that is just about my favourite thing to do in the world.

So here I am, still puttering through my last semester of my undergrad. Most of my classes require minimal brain energy, and I don't think I'm getting as much out of them as I could be. I'm sort of at the point where I just want it to be over so that I can move onto the next step. I've been thinking a lot about what next year will be like. I really think school is going to be fantastic. As far as the rest of things go, it'll be a whole new city with, at most, two similarly aged people I know living in it, but I'm looking forward to it. Erin is living with me in Toronto for the next two months while I finish up, and if this is any indication of how things are going to be, things are looking good. Apparently we'll be able to get a house in London for the same price that I pay in Toronto. Next step: gardening.

This is awfully big talk for someone who hasn't been accepted yet. Hopefully I'm not shooting myself in the foot.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-02-23T16:46:00

2004-02-23T22:49:22Z

Holy fucking shit! Alex Rodriguez went to the Yankees?!

Fuck the Yankees and fuck baseball.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-02-23T16:20:00

2004-02-23T22:18:41Z

I got back from Ecuador last night. It was ridiculously awesome. I mean, just a great fucking time. When comparing it to other field courses, I'd say it was a lot more intense since we had about seven days to do what other courses did in twelve, but there was still time to swim by waterfalls and just sit in the jungle alone. Continuing the tradition of doing projects in comfortable settings, this time I studied aquatic invertebrates and got to spend a lot of time by the water on hot sunny days. I've got a lot of work to do at the ROM to identify all the stuff I caught, but it should be fun.

Socially, I observed a similar pattern to other courses. At first it's all so new, and I'm just along for the ride. Then, I start to feel really depressed and think that I'm going to be lonely the whole trip. After about a day of wallowing in self-pity, things perk up and everything's dandy the rest of the way. Like before, I met some really nice peeps that I got to share a bunch of great experiences with, and this time they all go to my school so I'll be able to see them more.

I felt that the course ended on a rather anti-climactic note. We left Bombuscaro National Park on Friday and went to a couple of cities the next two nights. About half the class was feeling the gastronomic effects of eating Ecuadorian food for a week and a half and went to bed early. I imagine all the travelling we did had a pretty strong effect (by my calculations, we were in transit for about 75 hours over the eleven days we were gone). All of that didn't stop some people. They stumbled onto the bus at 5am on Sunday still drunk from the night before. For me it really felt like the course was over once we left the park.

Now it's back to reality. School is getting pretty busy, but I should be able to handle it. My birthday is on Friday, and I'm going to pick Erin up from the airport that night and have a little birthday party on Saturday. Sledding, skating, and Risk are on the agenda. Should be fun.

At this very moment, the future is looking about as good as I could realistically imagine.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-02-07T12:34:00

2004-02-07T17:37:17Z

I saw my parents on Thursday. They came down to see the Farm Show, and after all that, we did the best thing in the world, otherwise known as grocery shopping. Now, when my parents do this kind of stuff for me, I'm certainly not getting it for free. They're just about the nicest people in the world, and in an indifferent and pessimistic city like Toronto, it always makes me cringe whenever they socialize with strangers that end up giving them the cold shoulder. Part of me cringes, but another part of me is sad that I live in a city (and a society at large) that breeds such apathy. I remember being that earnest as a kid (the apple didn't fall far from the tree), and then at a certain age realizing that if I didn't start acting like everyone else I'd end up without any friends. I guess I've gotten pretty good at pretending I don't care, but I'd like to think I've come up with some sort of balance.

I'm in the midst of getting ready for a Field Course in Ecuador. Yesterday I couldn't raise my left arm because of all the shots I've had, and last night I had some pretty weird dreams due to my Malaria pills. One potential side effect is hallucinations, which would be interesting.

On Monday I'm going to London to talk to a Professor about a graduate school position (his name is Dr. Millar, hehehe). I'm really hoping this works out. It would involve field work in Alberta and would have Erin and me living in the same city. After that, I'm going to Detroit to pick up Erin from the airport. The fun thing about this is that she has no clue that I'm going to be there, making this the second time I've surprised her at the airport. I really think it's important to meet people you're close to when they get back from a trip like this. I remember being pretty bummed out when I came back from Europe and there wasn't a single person in this city that I was close enough to, to have waiting for me at the airport.

I've missed Erin quite a bit this time, but it's great to have somebody that I can feel like this about. Still, it's about a thousand times better being on the same continent. Backgammon isn't that much fun when you play against yourself.

On a rare political note, David Miller is the fucking man. I hope that whatever city I end up living in, there's a mayor like that guy running the show.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-01-26T12:48:00

2004-01-26T17:48:11Z

I had a rather good weekend.

Dillinger on Friday was awesome, as expected. There are some bands that I'm disappointed with when I hear the same songs every time (Converge and Small Brown Bike among others), and then there's a band like Dillinger that have played the same six songs each time I've seen them, but I couldn't be happier. When they weren't playing all the hits, they had a bunch of great sounding new songs for an album that's coming out soon. The rest of the bands were interesting at least, but the most interesting event of the evening was seeing three extremely drunk and high girls making out hardcore, one foot in front of me. Never seen that before in person.

Saturday was spent hanging out with my oldest friend in the world, the indomitable Casey Shanks. I played iTunes DJ for most of the afternoon (I want an iPod so bad) and then went to Casey's brother's housewarming party. It's always interesting going to places like that, where you can smell the testosterone of guys trying to find a girl for a one night stand. It used to make me uncomfortable, like I didn't fit in and was shaming my gender by not joining them, but now I realize it's just not my bag, and I take it for the entertaining spectacle that it is. I left before things got too sloppy and walked home in the bitter cold. My new coat is awesome. It makes me look like a middle-aged man (I got it from my dad), but there is not a warmer coat out there.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-01-23T15:14:00

2004-01-23T20:16:35Z

I went to the zoo today for my Avian Biology class. It was rather interesting going on a field trip for the first time in years. It was a lot less frenetic than field trips in the past, what with everybody technically being an adult. We took a yellow bus out and everything. Instead of reading David Eddings books, I did the crossword. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

I'm still undecided on the idea of zoos. It's weird though; if you tell someone you're in zoology they automatically think you want to be a zookeeper, but I really don't like being attached to that whole thing. I've already deleted a nonsensical rant I wrote, so I'll try to keep this to a minimum. While I saw a bunch of cool stuff that I'll likely never see in the wild, I can't help but notice how bored the animals are. I know one of the primary roles of zoos is conservation, but the rest of the animals don't look like they're exactly living out their intended purposes (whatever that is). The whole thing just irks me.

Alright, one more class (4 to 6 on Fridays . . . great idea), and then Dillinger Escape Plan tonight. Woot.

johnstonmiller @ 2004-01-12T15:49:00

2004-01-12T21:12:54Z

I think I've spent enough time anonymously reading other people's thoughts on the internet over the last few years that I should start making some (no doubt) valuable contributions to the internet diary world. So here it is.

My life is going pretty damn well, all things said. I've got a girlfriend for the first time in my life, and I love her a lot. She's in China right now. She was originally supposed to be gone for four months but now it's only one month. That makes me happier.

I'm in my last semester of an undergraduate degree in Zoology at the University of Toronto. How that came about could take a long time to explain, but let's just say I like it quite a bit, even though I'm not entirely sure what I'll get out of it when I'm done. Part of the reason I started this whole thing is that I'm procrastinating applying to graduate schools. The longer I wait, the slimmer my prospects get, but I just can't bring myself to do anything.

On Saturday I did the most pathetic thing I've done in a long time. I stayed up until six in the morning playing video games. I didn't even realize that much time had passed. Pretty sad, no? I really don't think I should be living alone. I'm accountable to no one, and end up wasting entire days doing absolutely nothing. At least when you're sharing a place with other people, you try to make it appear as though you're being useful. Now the only people around are my crazy landlord that lives below me and an even more reclusive loner who lives upstairs.

Alright, that was a nice start I think. Let's see how this goes.